There comes a time in one's life when you get tired of dealing with the same problems day in and day out. It's frustrating, un-motivating, and your value of life fades. Life stays the same until the day you to look at the life you've chosen and have that Dr. Phil "How's that working for you?" moment. It is then you can start to fix what you've let break.
I have finally become fed up with my weight. I allowed myself to put on over fifty pounds with the depression that came with my marriage. Why I was depressed when I got married is a story for a different day. The weight came 5 years ago, it's time for it to find the door. I weighed myself today: 182.8. It's not my heaviest, but not where I'm comfortable, either. I've decided I'm going to better myself in the most natural way possible- by eating healthier and working out (but not in the gym). I want to learn how to be more active in my everyday life and not become dependent on the machines at the gym. The world will be my obstacle course! I'm ready.
I've chosen this route for more than what was just read, though. I want to rebuild my brain to see that I, myself, can take care of me. I've gone a very long time living on bad habits. I've been dependent on men since I was 16. I've only had 3 serious relationships, but they all came one after the other. I never allowed myself time for me. I have spent 7 years of energy on others and never gave it to me. That's going to change. I'm going to lose 30 lbs in 90 days. September 15-December 15. I want to be eating fresh food, knowing that is nurturing my body. I want to be out jogging, choosing my out route, my own speed. I want to think my own thoughts, not worry about what the person on the elliptical beside me is doing. I want the air in my hair, the ground moving under my feet because I'm making it happen. I will see my waist slim, my legs define, my mind clear. Also, jogging on the road is free.
That is my next frustration that's being fixed. Money. After I left my husband, I landed a job that makes the most money any 20-something year old could make without a college education. Not only did I spend my energy on the men in my life, I spent all my money. I felt partially obligated because I made far more than they, and I felt like I needed to spend my money because that's what a woman who loves them does. I was never a saver. That is, of course, until the day I saw that I was having less than a dollar to my name on Monday from my paycheck Friday. I sat myself down, made a budget, and kinda sorta stuck to it. Now I'm fed up.
I plan on starting some of my blogs in code, and I'm telling you now what is is. For example:
7 of 30 in 27; $9,000 with 20
That'll mean I lost 7 of 30 lbs in 27 days, I have $9,000 in debt with 20 months until I'm debt free. Actually, I'll add my current 'code' to this blog now. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment